Danielle W – Nature Danielle

I have an ongoing list of things I text my friends about that are different from when I was drinking:

· I took the subway all week

· I ordered a cauliflower steak at dinner

· I went to a cacao ceremony

· I’m taking a Pilates class

· I went to a breakfast picnic in the park

· I floated in a sensory deprivation tank

My post-rehab hashtag is #naturedanielle, which stems from participating in the camping trip while at Mountainside, which was VERY out of character for me. We use this when I do something out of the ordinary but it has become part of my new post-rehab life.

Prior to Mountainside, my ordinary was isolating in my apartment. I live in one of the greatest cities in the world, and I was just existing here. As silly as it seems, taking the subway was a huge step for me because I was not previously doing that. Putting away my laundry and dry cleaning. Going to the grocery store instead of having my groceries delivered. I believe these things are called adult daily activities? Well, in my active addiction, those activities were difficult if not impossible.

At the end of the summer, I took a trip to LA and Las Vegas, and it was the first time I realized how out of sync my life was before I went to Mountainside. Now that I am on the other side, I can see that I was barely surviving. I put so much effort and thought into drinking, and the effects were both physically and emotionally damaging.

Now I have the time and energy to put into other things, like pickleball and my new puppy Gumbo. People asked why it took so long for me to get a dog, and it’s because I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself, so I could never take care of an animal. That’s different now. I want Gumbo to have a good life, and she is already giving me so much love in return. And for her to have a good life, I must have one as well. I have to take care of myself, and the difference now is that I actually want to. And I have Mountainside to thank for that.