Older man placing white rose on tombstone

Not to You

by Anonymous

Why did my brother have to die for me to get where I am today? ⎼ finally taking this drug addiction seriously. I have been to rehab four times and overdosed three times. My parents almost buried both of their kids within a week of each other.

I can’t believe that Rust is gone but I need to accept it. I have accepted it. He did not die in vain. I am going to use this opportunity to make something of myself. Most of my friends are in Manhattan with their own apartments and I am sitting in rehab, again. There are clinicians my age here with master’s degrees. What am I doing with my life? I keep asking myself that question.

I am done with this disease. Is it no longer going to have the grip on my life like it has the past 10 years. This is my time to finally put in the work and do great things. To be there for my family and friends, and most importantly myself. I have an idea, but I cannot tell anyone what it is. But it will be thought provoking and finally raise attention to addiction and maybe people will get it a little bit. Even if does not, it will get people talking about it and erase the stigma. For now, I must stay in the present and not think about the future.

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