When I think of an addict, I think of the typical hollowed eyes, skin and bone, rotten-toothed stereotype represented in cinema and pop culture. This radical image seemed so far removed from anyone I had ever known. I remember being exposed to this sort of obvious addiction for the first time when I was young, walking down the street in NYC, and gawking at it in the street and in the subway. I remember thinking how lucky I was to live in an area unaffected by this epidemic, belonging to a family free from such disease.
It was not until much later in my life that I recognized how many different forms of addiction there are, and how they can go by undetected, even in my own family.
I am the product of an extremely typical nuclear family. My parents are married, with three children and a mangey house dog. Both of my parents come from small families, so my only extended family is that of my dad’s brother. Since our family is so small, every holiday is spent together. We would go so far as to make up holidays as an excuse to see each other, celebrating Tax Day on April 14 every year with dinner together. My uncle’s family, similar to ours, was comprised of a loving couple and three amazing kids, my cousins. Our two families did nearly everything together, including vacations. Our traditional summer location was a beach town in South Carolina. Ever since I was six years old, I can’t remember a summer not spent with my cousins on that beach. I owe some of my most precious memories to these trips, which have become an integral part of my childhood.
Growing up, it was normal for the adults in my family to drink and let loose over vacation. Some of the funniest stories happened on their late drunken nights, like the time when my mom got a crab we captured to attach itself to my uncle’s lip. On our last trip there, I was 16 and was allowed to join in on the fun with my cousins and parents. My parents only let me have a drink or two to make me feel included, but it was always my uncle who snuck me some of whatever was in his tumbler. We spent those nights dancing on the back porch, singing Post Malone, and holding ping pong competitions. I could never have imagined that that summer would be our last.
The following few months after that summer, I could tell something was different. Auntie Stacy began picking up more jobs as a waitress, and Uncle Ronny was spending more and more time at my grandparents, doing ‘handiwork’. I heard my father make enough comments to understand that things hadn’t been going well for my uncle’s plaster business and that one of my cousins had dropped out of school following an accident. I understood that things weren’t going well for my family when things seemed off at our typical family dinners. Instead of hanging around and playing games all night, they seemed rushed to leave. However, none of us knew about the extent of these problems until we got a call early one Sunday morning. My uncle had passed away due to an overdose. Immediately, our worlds had changed and seemingly became much smaller. The next few weeks were spent constantly with our family, in support and grief.
Although I hadn’t noticed anything until the few months preceding his passing, addiction had plagued my uncle for nearly his entire life. From a very young age, he had no support system and thus turned to alcohol and drugs to soothe any sort of suffering. Later in his life, alcohol was used as a tool to get through every day. Looking back, I can’t ever remember him without a drink in his hand. But to us, it was normal. He had always been my fun-loving, silly uncle. He didn’t look like those people in New York who were very obviously struggling with addiction, but internally, he was dealing with some of their similar struggles.
My experience dealing with the death of my uncle gave me not only a new perspective on life but also a new perspective on addiction and alcohol abuse. I now know not to assume anything about a person’s struggles based on what they present outwardly.
This scholarship will help put me through nursing school, where, hopefully, I will be able to help fight against addiction in a hospital setting and perhaps be able to relate to the families of addiction victims and aid in comforting them. I truly hope that I can make a difference in these lives and use my personal experiences to support others.