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“Our Broken Bond”

A winning essay from our Brighter Future Scholarship contest

Having a loved one with an addiction has had a significant impact on my life, both emotionally and practically. My loved one’s addiction is chronic and has caused a lot of emotional stress and anxiety for my mom, myself and my daughter. This has made me feel sad, frustrated, angry, and even guilty about my family members’ addiction. It often worries me when it comes to their health and life, especially if they engage in these types of behaviors. My loved one has overdosed on multiple occasions, puts guilt trips on both my mother and myself and has drained us mentally, physically and financially. 

His addiction has negatively impacted my life because it has literally broken a bond that can only be repaired if he becomes sober. Having a sibling that has an addiction to one of the strongest drugs out there is literally one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life, it’s grieving the loss of a living family member. Don’t get me wrong, he is still my brother, and nothing will ever change that, but the lies, manipulation and deceit has really impacted me throughout the years. It’s upsetting because he just continues to ask for money and tell lies such as I am hungry and have no money for food so what else are we supposed to do right because what if there is some truth to it. However, now I offer to send food, or he gets nothing at all because I do not have money to support anyone’s habits as I too need to eat. 

My brother’s addiction has positively impacted my life in a few ways such as bringing my mom and I closer and helping me to realize I never want to be in this situation ever and will never take any kind of drugs that can put me into the situation he is currently in, I like my freedom too much to subject my mind and body to something so terrifying. 

As far as changing my perception of the disease, I don’t think it has really changed it much as I am well aware of what it does to a person and the toll it can take on one’s mind, body and spirit. I like to believe I have always been fairly understanding and educated when it comes to addiction as I grew up with an alcohol-addicted father and step farther. Although when it comes to addiction there is always more to learn about it and how to help others that are going through it. As an adult, I also know that many of the people that have addictions also have pretty severe mental health issues as well, whether it be depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD or other mental health disorders. Many people with addiction are people that would give you the clothes off their backs and help you with almost anything they can when in the right frame of mind and even some while not in a sober state of mind. 

In conclusion, receiving this scholarship would allow me to become an RN and further my education in the medical field where I could assist patients with addiction but also having knowledge and personal experience allows me to be able to relate to my patients. Ultimately one day I would like to be able to open a ketamine infusion clinic and potentially help people that have addiction and or mental health issues so they won’t have to continue taking drugs that could kill them. Show people that there is way more to life than these terrible drugs and alcohols that will take over your entire life. 

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