“Standing By Him”
A winning essay from our Brighter Future Scholarship contest
My cousin and I were close in age. We grew up together, and experienced every first together. He was more than family, he was my best friend. We shared everything together and every memory that I have, he is a part of. He was the student who made getting straight A’s look easy and a three sport varsity athlete who was a natural leader on and off of the field. People gravitated to him because of his outgoing personality and fun outlook on life. He had everything going for him and a bright future ahead.
It started slowly, the way addiction often does. In eighth grade, he started to drink when an older kid offered him a beer. We brushed it off at first, but one drink became many drinks. By sophomore year, it was more. Weekends stretched into weekdays, and his partying never seemed to end. I saw my cousin and best friend slowly fading away. His grades began to slip, practices were missed and the confident and outgoing person that I grew up with began to isolate himself away from our family. He began to hang out with crowds that only fed his drug and alcohol addiction. Our friendship was crumbling right in front of my eyes. The straight A student and three sport athlete slowly disappeared and the person that I once knew was no longer there.
The hardest part was realizing that I could not fix it alone. I tried, but my attempts were not successful. I begged him to stop, followed him out at night to make sure he made it home, and covered for him when coaches and teachers asked where he was. I remember sitting in his driveway one summer night and telling him how scared I was for him. He cried, and told me he would do anything to stop and keep our friendship alive. I believed him. I quickly realized that promise was broken when he disappeared for days and my aunt and uncle begged me for answers. I told them everything that I had been witnessing. The late nights, the lies, the way his eyes looked empty and how drugs and alcohol had stolen my best friend. I was terrified to tell them, but was so hopeful that with their intervention, things would change. Unfortunately, I was wrong. He continued to spiral and by junior year he was in and out of rehab facilities. He would briefly come home and our family would have hope, but that hope was quickly replaced with another crash and relapse. In the summer before our senior year, his parents made the difficult decision to move him out of state to live with his grandparents. I wish I could sit here and write that he was back and healthy again. Unfortunately, that is not the case. He struggles each day, and continues to use drugs and alcohol. I may not see him everyday like we used to, but I make it a point to call or text him each day to let him know that I am and will always be there for him.
Society often portrays addiction with troubled homes, absent parents, and lack of support. That narrative does not fit him. He grew up in a beautiful, loving and supportive household. He was surrounded by family and friends. He had family dinners every night, parents who cared for him and supported him, and friends that he could count on. His addiction proved to me that he has a disease. A disease that does not discriminate. I witnessed his struggle each day, and have seen first hand his daily fight against this vicious addiction. Conquering this disease is going to take more courage than most people can ever understand. I will stand with him every step of the way.
Throughout this unbearable journey, I have learned the value of health, how fragile it can be and how easily it can slip away. I’ve learned that unconditional love is not always easy. It means standing by someone at their worst. I’ve learned to meet everyone with a kind and understanding heart, because you never know the struggles and battles that a person is going through. Most of all, I’ve learned to protect the people that I love and sometimes that means speaking up even when the truth hurts. These lessons have shaped me into the person that I am today.
As I prepare to graduate high school and begin my college journey, I carry those lessons with me. I will be paying my tuition while working part time and balancing classes. A scholarship would ease that financial burden, allowing me to focus on my studies. I am grateful for the opportunity to continue to pursue my education and dreams, while maintaining hope for my cousin who taught me what it truly means to fight for someone that you love.