“My Former Addiction”
A winning essay from our Brighter Future Scholarship contest
Addiction is a very, very serious topic in which people need to address. Addiction is a mental condition in which people would, out of sheer desire, repeatedly use substances or do certain activities which usually grants instant pleasure, but harbors heavy downsides, such as gambling, social media, drugs, etc. and it can get severe to the point where the person cannot even mentally function properly without the thing that they are addicted to. This is how I temporarily got addicted to playing video games on my laptop during the pandemic.
Although neither me nor any member of my family are currently suffering an addiction, I have come close to fully becoming addicted to videogames, specifically during the pandemic, as I used to do absolutely nothing but play videogames inside the house and would even lose sleep over it sometimes. The pandemic during 2020-2021 had essentially forced everyone to stay inside the house, with school being held through online meetings on Google Classroom. Initially, I fell in line, as I listened to the teachers and did the classwork I was supposed to do. However, as the year flew by, the classes got more and more monotonous and boring to me. So, I would start playing videogames during classtime just to pass by. At first, it was an occasional thing, if I got bored or was doing nothing in class, I’d just hop on a game and play it for a few minutes. But, as I started enjoying these games more and more, the longer and more often I’d start playing these games. I’d be invested in the stories and the gameplay on them, for the most part. Whether it be during class, after class, or even in the middle of the night, I would be gaming all the time. I’d be sleep deprived, would start slacking on academics, and thus would get horrible grades at times, missing entire essays due to my ignorance caused by my full-time investment on video games. Sometimes, I would lie to friends who would ask me for assistance on group work, saying I was busy with other stuff when in reality I was fulfilling my hedonism, basking in the pleasure which playing these video games had given me. For a time, I had a 65 average on my English class due to these issues of mine. My grades would usually be in the mid-high 90s range, which I took pride in, which is why this 65 felt so devastating. I would also become less interested in other hobbies I used to do, such as playing the guitar, and merely focus on playing videogames. I would become ashamed of myself in the midst of it, but for the rest of the pandemic and for part of the year after, this would continue. However, these videogames do have its benefits, as I have noticed a good decrease in reaction time due to me playing rhythm games for the most part. However, as the pandemic had ended, and people could go outside again, so would I, and the addiction would lessen. Although the progression would be slow, and I mean really slow, I would eventually get out of that stage of pure addiction. I would go into other hobbies such as taekwondo and drawing, which had helped lessen my sense of reliance on videogames. I would hang out with my friends and family more often, bringing more and more time outside of the house, doing other things besides videogames which would further increase my tolerance without it. However, I do still play video games, although a lot less often than I used to. I do still feel less pleasure doing other activities besides gaming, too, albeit less severe. This addiction was very short lived, thankfully, but some of its effects do linger.
Although I’ve seen retellings of addiction through PSA’s or addiction-themed films, I never really thought much of it until I had looked back on this period and had realized that I had been an addict myself, albeit with a very relatively short one. There are multiple things that this reflection of my former addiction had taught me, such as that addiction can start very subtly. It can be like falling into a pit of quicksand, oblivious to its danger. I did not think that this would get worse at all when I had first started, but as the year had progressed it did, in fact, get worse, as my desire for pleasure and lack of self control had increased. However, I was very lucky for the pandemic to end in the midst of it, as I would not have been able to recover from it otherwise. In fact, a great tip on how to start recovering from a behavioral addiction such as my own is to get interested in other hobbies. Had the pandemic not ended, and I would not be able to join my taekwondo class, or learn from my friends on how to draw, that addiction would have engulfed me whole, as I would not desire to become invested in these hobbies. And even then, I was still in that phase for a long time after the pandemic, taking a few months or more to mostly get out of it. Addiction never starts with a bang, and it doesn’t end in a bang. It starts slow and subtle, and it takes even more time to fully get out of it.
This scholarship would be a huge assistance to my parents’ finances, as they will assist me in paying for college funds, which would normally cost a lot of money. However, with this $1000 scholarship, part of that burden would essentially be lifted from them, which would make the process easier for both themselves and me. Me getting this scholarship isn’t only a way for me to very partially give back to them for everything they have done for me, but also a way to make my own life easier. And, because part of that burden is gone, I will be able to invest more of my time and energy on actually studying and doing my part in my university than dreading the financial aspect of the college experience. And, with this scholarship, I will also be able to gain opportunities to go into relatively expensive colleges which we normally would not be able to afford, such as MIT, which is why this scholarship is so important to me; I not only lessen the financial restraints that college puts on me and my parents, but also get more time, opportunity, and energy on my dedication and studies for chemical engineering.