Supporting a Partner with Anxiety: Ways to Help Them and Yourself

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two partners supporting each other putting his arm around his shoulder

Anxiety can be a challenging condition to navigate, not just for the person experiencing it, but also for their partner. The impact of anxiety can be far-reaching, affecting emotional well-being, social life, finances, and everyday activities. As a supportive partner, it’s essential to understand how anxiety can affect your relationship and learn effective strategies to provide the support your partner needs. Below we explore practical ways to support an anxious partner, communicate effectively, set boundaries, and take care of yourself while helping your loved one.

Understanding Anxiety and Its Impact on Relationships

Living with anxiety is a daily battle that can disrupt various aspects of life. For individuals with anxiety disorders, their struggles can extend beyond personal challenges and impact their close relationships and other aspects of daily life.

Emotional Wellbeing

Anxiety disorders often place a significant emotional burden on the partner who doesn’t have anxiety. They may find themselves shouldering more of the emotional weight in the relationship, whether it’s providing general emotional support or taking on additional responsibilities like child-rearing. This imbalance can negatively impact the emotional well-being of the non-anxious partner.

Social Life

Anxiety can lead individuals to avoid social outings or interactions, causing difficulties for partners who value spending time with others. The non-anxious partner may feel isolated or frustrated by the limitations anxiety places on their social life.


If anxiety makes it challenging for one partner to find or maintain employment, it may put financial strain on the relationship. The non-anxious partner may need to work or earn more to compensate for any financial shortfalls caused by their partner’s anxiety.

Everyday Activities

Day-to-day life can become challenging when one partner has an anxiety disorder. The non-anxious partner may have to take on additional responsibilities such as grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and childcare. Over time, this can lead to resentment and fatigue.

These issues can accumulate over time, putting significant strain on the relationship. The non-anxious partner may struggle to understand what their partner with anxiety is going through. To foster balanced emotional well-being, it’s important to know how to deal with anxiety in a relationship.

Practical Ways to Support an Anxious Partner

While supporting a partner with anxiety can seem like a challenging task, there are several practical ways you can provide support and create a nurturing environment for your loved one. Let’s explore some effective strategies:

Do Your Research

To truly understand and support your partner or spouse, it’s essential to educate yourself about anxiety disorders and how they impact individuals. Take the time to learn about the symptoms, triggers, and challenges associated with anxiety. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America is a valuable resource for gaining insights into anxiety disorders.

Recognize the Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety can manifest in various ways, depending on the individual and the specific anxiety disorder they experience. It’s crucial to learn how to spot anxiety symptoms in your partner. These symptoms may include

  • Nervousness, tension, or restlessness
  • Feelings of panic or impending danger
  • Sweating
  • Fatigue or weakness
  • Increased heart rate
  • Hyperventilation
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Uncontrollable worry
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Stomach pains or gastrointestinal problems
  • Avoidance of anxiety-triggering situations

By recognizing these signs, you can better understand when your partner may be experiencing anxiety and provide the necessary support.

Validate Their Experience

Validation is a crucial aspect of supporting someone with anxiety. Simply acknowledging and validating your partner’s feelings and experiences can go a long way in making them feel understood and supported. Express empathy, but don’t say “I understand.”

Therapist Daniel Sexton suggests, “What you can do is repeat their thoughts back to them. For example, if your partner says, ‘I feel like I have a pit in my stomach,’ you can say, ‘Okay you feel like there’s a pit in your chest.’ This is a simple, yet effective way to show someone that they are being heard and provide them the space to continue the conversation. and understanding, even if you don’t personally experience the same level of anxiety.” You can also use validating statements, some of which include

  • “I can imagine that’s really challenging for you.”
  • “It must be frustrating to deal with “
  • “I’m here for you.”

Avoid minimizing their feelings or dismissing their experiences. Your support and validation can make a significant difference to your partner as they navigate their anxiety.

Don’t Try to Fix Everything

While it’s natural to want to solve your partner’s problems, trying to “fix” their anxiety is not productive. Instead, focus on providing a consistent listening ear and showing them that you support them unconditionally. Encourage them to develop their own vision of an anxiety-free life and offer the necessary encouragement and support as they strive towards it.

Prioritize Communication

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when one partner has anxiety. Make communication a priority and ensure that both partners feel heard and understood. Use “I” statements to express your thoughts and perceptions, rather than telling your partner how they should feel or react. For example, instead of saying, “You need to calm down,” try saying, “I can see that you’re upset. How can I help?” This shift in focus can make a significant difference in how you communicate with your partner.

Set Boundaries

Living with an anxious partner can be challenging, but it’s important to set boundaries to protect your well-being. Recognize your own needs and limitations and communicate them to your partner. It’s okay to prioritize your own mental health and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Encourage your partner to seek help and support from professionals, rather than relying solely on you to solve their problems.

Encourage Therapy

Therapy is an essential tool for managing anxiety. Encourage your partner to seek therapy and provide support as they navigate the process. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are two effective therapies for anxiety. Additionally, incorporating mindfulness practices such as yoga, acupuncture, or reiki into daily life can help manage physical symptoms of anxiety.

Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a partner with anxiety can be emotionally draining, so it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. Ensure that you take time for yourself and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Cultivate your support network, whether it’s through friendships or therapy, to help you navigate the challenges of supporting your partner. Remember, you can’t effectively support someone else if you’re not taking care of your mental health.

By implementing these strategies, you can create a supportive and nurturing environment for your partner while also safeguarding your well-being. Remember, supporting someone with anxiety requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to continuous learning and growth as a partner.

Supporting a partner with anxiety is a complex journey that requires patience, understanding, and effective communication. By educating yourself about anxiety disorders, recognizing the signs of anxiety, validating your partner’s experiences, prioritizing communication, setting boundaries, encouraging therapy, and taking care of yourself, you can build a strong and resilient relationship.

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