Brandi Embraces Honesty in Recovery

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Just 18 months ago, I was a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict. I hit bottom so hard that I felt suicidal on a day-to-day basis. I was isolated from my family and lost almost everything. I knew that I had two options: to die or get help.

Recovery for me started at Mountainside, on September 17th, 2018 – the day I decided to get help and check in to treatment. Mountainside is where honesty first started to show in my life. For me to get the help that I needed, I needed to admit to myself that I had a problem. This was the hardest part. It was what had been keeping me away from recovery. I thought I was “high-functioning” and that my life wasn’t unmanageable, but when I sat down to look at the evidence, this just wasn’t the truth. I am an alcoholic, and my life had become unmanageable.

The honesty continued for me at Mountainside. I was nervous to open up to anyone because I had never done that before. Little did I know then that this would be the most important thing that I would do while in treatment. I met with a clinician regularly and felt that she was truly listening to me and genuinely interested in my recovery. She helped me learn so much about myself that I never would have otherwise. She became my go-to during my stay there. But this was where the work started for me. For her to help me, I had to tell her everything, and so I did.

Toward the end of my stay, she was trying to work with me to come up with an aftercare plan. This is where I first became open-minded. I knew that my ideas and my solutions had gotten me exactly to where I was sitting at that time. I wanted a better life for myself so badly that I became open to any suggestions and ideas she threw my way. It wasn’t easy. I kept telling her that I had to go home or I needed to do this, that, and the other thing. But deep down, I knew that she had my best interest at heart. I kept coming back to her week after week, and she always remembered everything that I had told her and asked me about the things that were bothering me the week prior. She really cared.

At the end of my stay, I was getting nervous to get back out into the real world, nervous about what life for me would look like without drugs and alcohol. In my last few meetings with my clinician, I really had to become willing to grow. I knew that my life before was terrible and that I didn’t want to go back to living as a hopeless alcoholic who needed help, so I took her suggestions. I never knew what a sober house was, but she suggested that I move into one.

18 months later, I can tell you that I am still clean and sober. I lived in a sober house for seven months while finding my roots in the sober community, then moved into a nearby apartment with a woman I met in sobriety, where I still live today. I now have real friends and women in my life who care about me. Today, I can tell you that I got my family back. Today, I can tell you that I am still an alcoholic and addict, but no longer am I a hopeless suffering one. I am a recovering one.

If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, Mountainside can help.
Click here or call (888) 833-4676 to speak with one of our addiction treatment experts.